Guiding your Life gently with your Inner Family

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Yoga is the art of knowing yourself and guiding yourself gently through life. Only when you know yourself you will be able to live a balanced life, fulfilling your heart’s desire. This is often more easily said than done, so I want to share here a concept with you that I find greatly practical and maybe it works for you, too.

Probably you know about your inner child and how important your connection to him or her is. I learned about the inner child from Malcolm Southwood in my healing therapy training. The inner child is an aspect of your soul that can be either out of balance (caught up in the past and emotional) or your greatest ally (in the moment and feeling what your Truth is right now). Your inner child can be living in your heart or you lost it with some other person and your task is to get it back.

For instance, if a relationship is finished, Malcolm explained that usually your inner child is still with the other person while his inner child maybe still with you. This happens for example, if there is a neediness in the relationship that wouldn’t there if both partners were mature, self-reliant and based their relationship on sharing and inspiring each other instead. The reason why people fight about possessions after relationships end is not because of the possessions but because they subconsciously want to have their soul aspect back, their inner child. As part of your clearing process you can sit down in your meditation and imagine seeing your inner child coming back to you and sending the inner child of your former partner back to him.

The first time I heard of the concept of the Inner Family was from Natalia Rose and she referred to the spiritual teacher Almine. The Inner Family as Almine teaches it, says that there are more inner aspects that we can form a relationship with and consult with them on how to be and act in our lives:

  • The Inner Child: when in balance it informs you about how you feel in the moment; when out of balance it acts irrationally and emotionally
  • The Inner Nurturer: when in balance she or her loves you unconditionally; when out of balance he/she becomes your biggest critic
  • The Inner Wise One: when in balance your elder one is your compass based on morals and ethics, who knows your heart’s desire; when out of balance you don’t know what you want
  • The Inner Warrior: when in balances your warrior maps out a strategy and acts upon it, he will make sure to reach the goal of the elder; when out of balance you get nothing done or act neither effectively nor efficiently.

There are more inner aspects that I taught by other schools and different names for them. Almine also refers to the Inner Wild Woman and the Inner Wild Man. As with each one of these internal aspects it is a matter of getting to know them and build a relationship with them. If you are interested in an approach coming more from a worldly author, read Friedemann Schulz von Thun’s books about the inner team. He provides wonderful methods about how to communicate with your inner team (aspects) in an authentic and honest way.

Here is how to apply the method (Natalia Rose also explained this in her online course “The Vault”):

  1. Each team member can lean towards the destructive or to the life-generating, so identifying this helps you to correct your thinking, perspective and acting in the real world.
  2. Each team member fulfills a certain role, so by concentrating on that specific role and figuring out what this team member has to say about this topic can bring you greater clarity about the problems you currently have
  3. The team members have a relationship with each other; e.g. the inner child when in balance would inform the elder how it feels about a life-changing decision and this dialogue helps to bring about the goal in the highest interest in the moment
  4. You can overfocus on one aspect, so all team members must be equally heard and acted upon; e.g. only focussing on nurturing yourself and being in non-judgement will not bring your life goal about; you need to give your inner warrior enough space to act as well

If your inner family or your inner team is working well together and you feel connected to them you will probably feel in peace, be more effective and be more efficient in this world.